When Work Consumes Everything, Something’s Off
What would shift if your work were designed around your capacity and your next chapter — not the version of you that’s just trying to stay afloat?
Earlier this week, I wrote about what it means to keep building while everything’s falling apart. Today’s the companion piece: what happens when work quietly takes everything from you before you even notice — when burnout doesn’t come as a crash, but as a slow erasure of self.
Society has normalized a culture where exhaustion is a badge of honor and boundaries are seen as disloyal.
But here’s the truth: work should support your life — not swallow it.
That doesn’t mean work is meaningless.
For many of us, it’s a source of purpose, expression, and security. But when it starts to dictate your health, relationships, identity, or self-worth, it’s no longer a tool.
It’s a trap.
I’ve seen this with clients across industries — nonprofit directors, tech leads, freelancers, even founders. Smart, capable people fall into self-sacrifice loops — because the system still rewards over-functioning and quietly punishes rest.
Signs Work Has Taken Over (Even If You’re “Doing Well”)
You might be working *incredibly hard* — but still feel like you’re behind. Here are some subtle signs that work is consuming more than it’s giving back:
You dread Mondays *and* Sundays (hello, anticipatory burnout)
Your job title feels like your whole identity
You can’t remember the last time you felt proud without being productive
You constantly feel like you’re “on,” even outside of work hours
You’re successful on paper—but feel hollow inside
These are not personal flaws. These are survival strategies. They’re often rooted in class, race, gender, cultural expectations, and trauma—not laziness or poor planning.
These patterns don’t happen overnight. They build slowly, layer by layer, until exhaustion becomes identity.
The Cycle of Over-Functioning
We over-extend (to feel safe).
We normalize depletion (to stay valuable).
We confuse exhaustion with purpose (because that’s what gets rewarded).
Here’s the reframe I invite my clients (and you) to explore:
What would shift if your work were designed around your capacity and your next chapter — not the version of you that’s just trying to stay afloat?
Supporting your life doesn’t mean:
Quitting your job tomorrow
Becoming a minimalist
Manifesting your way to a new reality
It means asking better questions:
What does enough feel like for me — not just financially, but emotionally and energetically?
How can I create a career that supports who I am becoming — not just who I’ve been performing as?
What rhythms, roles, and relationships feel sustainable?
You’re Allowed to Redefine Success
You get to choose work that:
Honors your nervous system
Reflects your values
Leaves room for rest, care, and joy
Grows *with* you, not against you
And you don’t have to figure it all out alone.
Because thriving isn’t selfish, it’s sustainable.
PS: If this hit home, forward it to someone who’s been running on fumes. We’re not meant to do this alone.